Ok....long story short. In a month I will be going in for endometrial ablation and a tubal litigation. Bottom line, I won't be able to have children. For anyone who has known me for any length of time, you're probably wondering what the problem is, since I've always said that I don't want kids. I'm not really sure what the problem is. Logically, I still don't want kids. If I had chosen the option of a hysterectomy, I don't think I'd be having as difficult a time. If my mother wasn't so upset over my not having kids, I don't think I'd be having as difficult a time. Maybe it's because it all seems so elective. I baby-sat my cousin's son over the weekend and desperately tried to work up some maternal desire, but it didn't really help. I guess I just need to be sure this is truly the path I want to take, especially since that's the question EVERYONE seems to be asking. "Are you sure you're ok with this?" Yes, I am. I think. Perhaps my problem is not necessarily wanting what you can't have, but in my stubborn attitude(what? who? me?) of doing the opposite of what I'm told to do or am expected to do. It was always an ego/pride thing up until now when people said 'oh, you'll change your mind and have kids some day', and I said 'nope, never'. So now that I'll be told, 'No, you can't have kids', my instinct is to prove them wrong. But, irregardless, I thought it over, and I have made my decision, so I'm sticking with it. Now I just have to deal.