10-20-05

Why does Halloween have to be scary? On the Sci-Fi channel, they are having their 13 Days of Halloween. Thirteen days of scary, gory, monster filled movies. Why? Let’s try to follow the trail. Halloween(or Samhain, All Hallow’s Eve, All Saint’s Day, or Day of the Dead) occurs at the end of October or beginning of November. By this time, the trees have all changed color and most have lost their leaves. The nights are colder, and most, if not all, of the harvest has been brought in. This leaves dead-looking crops, bare, dead-looking trees, and hibernating, dead-looking animals. It’s obvious where the celebration of death comes from.
In a society where Christianity is prominent, people fear death. Partially because of the threat of a hell, and partially because of a fear of the unknown. With fear, comes people who thrive on fear. Who strive to put fear into others. With the motion picture industry these days, fear is not hard to produce. They have come up with a myriad of ways to chase, threaten, torture, and dismember people. These cause death, which then induces fear.
I see the connection, but still find it disturbing. What kind of minds come up with these things? I was watching a preview for ‘Saw II’ and was appalled. What kind of person would think this up, let alone enjoy watching it? The scariest part is the answer. Human minds…my mind. I think my fear in all of this is that I know, if I allowed myself, that my mind could come up with far worse. And beyond that, there would be the impulse to follow through, and the ego to think I could get away with it.
What prevents me, or you, dear reader, from acting upon those dark impulses? Torture, rape, and killing with out reason is rarely found in any other animal species. So is it human instinct or animal, that prevents us from doing something uniquely human? Is it our basic animal nature that says live in harmony(unless you’re eating your neighbor), or is it the human part of us that also creates art and invents religion that keeps us from the mass-murder of stupid people? I suppose in keeping with the balance of nature, that which is positive about our nature can’t exist with out the negative.
When you incorporate all of this with pagan beliefs and the Wheel of the Year, I suppose you see it a little more clearly. The cross-quarter of Samhain(Halloween, death) is Beltane(fertility, life). I knew before this rant that balance is necessary. I think I’m just realizing that there is bigger emphasis on the death side of things than life. We don’t have a secularized holiday celebrating the final fertility rituals of spring, so why do we have one for the final harvest?
Easter you say? Yes, that is a widely celebrated Spring ritual, but it falls a month short of the cross-quarter, and while technically fertility is celebrated by rabbits and eggs, most people miss that connection. Unlike Halloween, where the macabre is celebrated by all. Ghouls and ghosts prevail in every store. What shouts death more than a ghost?
I’m no longer sure where I was going with this rant(I know…nothing new), but I think we should all make it a point to keep in mind that this time of year should be a celebration of death, of the turning of another year. And I suppose, if being scared floats your boat and gets you in the mood, then…BOO!

The day before my 27th birthday.

I’m seriously thinking about skipping 27, heading straight for 28, then setting up camp there for the next 20 or so years. Why are the odd numbered years so nerve-wracking? While 13 and 21 are more exciting and anticipated, 23, 25, and 27 just sound scary. So does 29 and 35. Really, 34…not that bad. I can probably even handle 40, 50, etc. But 39 and 49? Nope. Don’t want to go there.

And while I realize that numerical age does not define us, there is something finite…something solid(but not in a good way), something that is so temporarily permanent. I know that’s on oxymoron, but it’s true. For a year, we are a specific age. I am 26. I’m not 26 years, 363 days, and 3 hours old. Tomorrow I will be 27. For a whole year. To my employer, to the government, to my parents, I will be that finite number.

I suppose somewhere in here is a rant about labels. How we define ourselves, and how other people define us. Finding out who we are is a big part of our journey. A friend of mine has a spot on his blog called 100 things about me. Perhaps I’ll make a list of ‘I am’ 100 things. Yup…sounds like a good day before the b-day exercise.

1. I am a woman
2. I am independent
3. I am an insurance agent
4. I am a daughter
5. I am a sister
6. I am an aunt
7. I am compassionate
8. I am intelligent
9. I am a bibliophile(book-junkie)
10. I am a geocacher
11. I am a Libra
12. I am a person who strives for balance
13. I am a Pagan
14. I am interested in many different religions
15. I am a homeowner
16. I am a life-long Michigan resident
17. I am photographer
18. I am a patron of the arts
19. I am a genealogist
20. I am already having problems coming up with items
21. I am proficient on a computer
22. I am a trivia buff
23. I am single
24. I am 5’5” tall
25. I am a good cook
26. I am giving
27. I am a part of a big, loving family
28. I am a person who loves to travel
29. I am open-minded
30. I am grateful to have the parents I do
31. I am shy (in my own mind)
32. I am out-going (in appearance)
33. I am optimistic
34. I am able to see all sides of any issue
35. I am proud of my heritage
36. I am a liberal
37. I am a bleeding-heart liberal(according to Sharon)
38. I am pro-choice
39. I am an American (for better or worse)
40. I am a good friend
41. I am a spoiled brat
42. I am the youngest sibling in my family
43. I am high-maintenance
44. I am trying to ‘just roll with it’
45. I am right-handed (but use my left an awful lot)
46. I am a recovering Catholic
47. I am an ex-vegetarian
48. I am immensely curious
49. I am almost to #50
50. I am ordained
51. I am the person people come to for advice
52. I am always early (I hate being late)
53. I am a jack-of-all-trades
54. I am a master of none
55. I am capable of leaning new things quickly
56. I am not afraid to be alone
57. I am a spider-rescuer (please don’t squish them)
58. I am reverent of all living things
59. I am a Nature lover
60. I am skilled at domestic trades (baking, sewing, etc)
61. I am able to re-wire light fixtures
62. I am a blood donor
63. I am an organ donor (or will be when I die)
64. I am O positive
65. I am writing this on company time
66. I am impressed I’ve made it to #66
67. I am obviously wasting space
68. I am always enthralled with the changing of seasons
69. I am pierced in four places (ears only)
70. I am tattooed in one
71. I am hoping to finish this list before five o’clock
72. I am the owner of a rusty 94 Chevy Blazer named Bear
73. I am ok with the fact that I will never be famous
74. I am blessed with amazing friends
75. I am allergic to dozens of things
76. I am disgusted with our news media
77. I am tired of dealing with stupid boys
78. I am deeply saddened by the recent natural disasters
79. I am concerned about the future of the human race
80. I am hopeful
81. I am scared of rejection
82. I am really impressed I’ve made it this far
83. I am not sure of ‘what I want to be when I grow up’
84. I am ready to be the person I’m meant to become
85. I am disappointed in our president
86. I am also know by my alter-ego ‘Abby’
87. I am aware of consequences
88. I am able to laugh at myself
89. I am a beautiful person
90. I am slightly egotistical
91. I am careful around other people’s feelings
92. I am a blogger (a bad one, but still…)
93. I am a regular player on The Kingdom of Loathing
94. I am a collector of Band-Aids
95. I am a speed reader
96. I am a not-so-speedy typer
97. I am almost there
98. I am able to mow my own lawn
99. I am nostalgic
100. I am done.

Last night I entered the 1,000th person into my family tree. When I started this project, I said that when I hit 1,ooo people I was going to quit because knowing I was related to 1,000 other people was enough. Something tells me I'm still going to be searching and adding. On one hand, 1,ooo people seems like a lot, but when you figure at least 30% of those people are related by marriage, not blood, you're looking at the same population as my graduating class in high school. When you look at it like that, it doesn't seem like a whole lot of people.

I can trace back 7 generations on both sides of my family. I'm lucky, most of the research was done before I started, I just had to gather and compile it. Most of my current road blocks are due to the difficulty of obtaining records from outside the U.S. without leaving the country. I have traced all of my lines to the countries they emigrated from before settling here. At this time, getting records from Scotland (via Canada), Russia, Romania, and Sweden, is proving to be a little difficult. Mainly due to the fact that the records aren't in English, but also because places like Russia don't have a lot of records posted online.

In honor of my ancestors,
In anticipation of my descendants;
Here, is where my past meets the future.
Here, are my bloodlines made solid .
Here, is who I am.

http://www.ancestry.com/oft/Pedigree.asp?Reload=1&NumGens=5

I received update #3 from Angela(en route Paul) this morning (Hi Angela!!!!). Angela is currently in Louisiana volunteering as a nurse for hurricane relief. She is doing such an amazing thing. Every update makes me cry. The amount of love, compassion, and selflessness that this woman possesses is amazing. I wish I had the skills and dedication to do something like that(not to mention the vacation time).

Earlier this week there was huge fire (five businesses burned). The Salvation Army was there volunteering their time, feeding and watering the firemen. I would have loved to help, but I'm not a member of their church, nor do I ever intend to be. So even on a local scale, there are some hurdles to helping. I guess I'll just have to stick with the fact the my way of helping is playing 'camp counselor' to a dozen or so folks. The only bummer is that they get so wrapped up in their own problems, I don't have anyone I get to vent to. Hmm....can we say Blog? But then, due to the not knowing whose reading, these are all pretty superficial vents...no personal stuff. Ach...well....whatcha gonna do?

I would have posted yesterday, but when I had the chance, Blogger was down for maintenance. Although I really don't have a lot to post about. Well, I have things to rant about, but since this is a public post, and they are private matters(not necessarily my private matters), I'll just have to find something random to ramble about. Like the fact that it's October 4th and it's 85 degrees outside. Talk about your Indian Summer. Hmmm...I wonder where that term comes from....let's find out shall we.....

According to USA Today, the term "Indian Summer" dates back to 18th-century United States. It can be defined as "any spell of warm, quiet, hazy weather that may occur in October or even early November." Other weather phenomena associated with a true Indian Summer include dry, hazy conditions and southwesterly winds that occur after the first killing frost.
The true origin of the term, however, is the subject of much research and debate. It first shows up in writing in 1778, in a letter from Frenchman-turned-American-farmer named St. John de Crevecoeur who wrote:
Sometimes the rain is followed by an interval of calm and warmth which is called the Indian Summer; its characteristics are a tranquil atmosphere and general smokiness.
Some speculate the weather phenomenon is named after the Native Americans because they were the first to recognize the pattern. They used the mild weather to hunt and harvest crops in preparation for the winter. Another theory suggests the name was inspired by the Native American belief that the favorable winds were a gift from a god in the desert Southwest. Still another possibility is that the weather pattern was so-named because it occurred more frequently out west, in "Indian" territory, than it did back east. And one rather prejudicial explanation suggests that in this context, "Indian" is used to mean false, so an "Indian Summer" is a false summer.
In a different vein, another theory suggests trading ships used this good weather period to travel to the Indian Ocean. Several ships actually had an "I.S." mark on their hulls at the load level thought safe during the Indian Summer.
Chances are, we will never know the origin of the phrase with any certainty.

Yup...that clears it up.