Ok....long story short. In a month I will be going in for endometrial ablation and a tubal litigation. Bottom line, I won't be able to have children. For anyone who has known me for any length of time, you're probably wondering what the problem is, since I've always said that I don't want kids. I'm not really sure what the problem is. Logically, I still don't want kids. If I had chosen the option of a hysterectomy, I don't think I'd be having as difficult a time. If my mother wasn't so upset over my not having kids, I don't think I'd be having as difficult a time. Maybe it's because it all seems so elective. I baby-sat my cousin's son over the weekend and desperately tried to work up some maternal desire, but it didn't really help. I guess I just need to be sure this is truly the path I want to take, especially since that's the question EVERYONE seems to be asking. "Are you sure you're ok with this?" Yes, I am. I think. Perhaps my problem is not necessarily wanting what you can't have, but in my stubborn attitude(what? who? me?) of doing the opposite of what I'm told to do or am expected to do. It was always an ego/pride thing up until now when people said 'oh, you'll change your mind and have kids some day', and I said 'nope, never'. So now that I'll be told, 'No, you can't have kids', my instinct is to prove them wrong. But, irregardless, I thought it over, and I have made my decision, so I'm sticking with it. Now I just have to deal.

Paczki (pronounced poonch-key or punch-key depending on where you live) is a Polish doughnut made with potatoes traditionally made around 'Fat Tuesday' which is the kick off for Mardi Gras. It is also the day before Ash Wednesday, which is the start of Lent (40 days before Easter)in the Catholic church. At our local Polish Catholic church, the weekend before Fat Tuesday, the polish ladies of the church(and a few males who are roped into it) have a Paczki sale. The following are photos from my weekend adventure.....

Breakfast at the Northside(across from the church) at 4:00am.


5:00am.....the mixing starts.....



Pouring the dough out of the mixer for kneading.

Dough delivery service.

Della the Dough Queen......this is the boiler room where all the dough is raised.

The rolling and cutting of the Paczki.

The cut Paczki being raised.

Sue and Jill...happy little fryers.....

Frying paczki.

Dutiful Dough Delivery Girls.

Lunch Break! Yummm.....

Miles of cooked paczki.



Rolling the paczki in sugar.....

Paczki packed up and ready to go!

So, 8,000 paczki (nope, not an exageration) and 7 hours later, I headed home. And after two days and three showers, I can still smell paczki in my hair.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Worship My Pancake!

Man, I really want that printed on a t-shirt. What is it with people these days?

http://cgi.ebay.com/Jesus-PanCake_W0QQitemZ6251847554QQcategoryZ1447QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

If the link is expired, just go to Ebay and type in Jesus and just about any breakfast food, and I'm sure you'll find something just as suitable to laugh about. If your deity appeared in your breakfast(or dinner for that matter) wouldn't you keep it? Why sell it to a person it wasn't meant for? But if you're going to sell something, just say "God" appeared in just about anything, and when people say they can't see it, just say 'we really don't know what he looks like, how do you know he's not on it?' And you know that some idiot out there would bid on it...

Quest (kwst) n.

1. The act or an instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.
2. An expedition undertaken in medieval romance by a knight in order to perform a prescribed feat: the quest
for the Holy Grail.

I've realized that I enjoy playing games that involve a quest, or quests. I am an active player on The Kingdom of Loathing (www4.loathing2.com). I'm also enjoying Tradewinds Legends, but that may be because it is borderline piracy. But now I have to stop and wonder why I enjoy quests so much. Is it because I'm not seeking anything in the 'real world'? Or that I am seeking something, but not finding it, and therefore playing games where you do finish the quest, where you find what you're looking for?